[Rating: Minor Rock Fist Up]
It occurred to me while watching director Nicole Holofcener’s latest film, You Hurt My Feelings, that I don’t take criticism very well! As a film reviewer I don’t normally share my reviews with friends for fear they’ll notice I spelled something incorrectly or forgot a piece of grammar. I don’t like being told the opposite of what I want to hear, and yet, I want people to acknowledge my writing is good, much like the characters in this light-hearted dramedy.
Beth (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) is a writer who lacks the confidence she once had. Her latest book isn’t hitting right with potential publishers and her last book, a memoir, isn’t selling like it once was. She spends her worrisome days with her sister Sarah (Michaela Watkins) helping at homeless shelters and visiting her son Elliott (Owen Teague) at his dispensary job. Meanwhile, Beth’s husband Don, (Tobias Menzies) is having confidence issues of his own. He’s a therapist who, by all regards, doesn’t help his patients in what they actually need, nor does he seem to be a very aware husband to an already worried Beth. One day, noticing Don and Sarah’s husband Mark (Arian Moayed) in a store, Beth and Sarah want to surprise them. However, Beth overhears Don telling Mark that he actually doesn’t like Beth’s latest book. This in turn sends Beth to rethink her entire relationship with her husband as her feelings are hurt. Will their relationship last or be doomed to be a divorced failure?
Again, it’s crazy how much I could connect with this. I want everybody to like my writing like Beth, but even the slightest criticism I take it all away from them. Holofcener’s script explores this so well because it feels so real. It’s Beth giving passive-aggressive responses to her husband in order to avoid the topic altogether. I liked how Don’s own troubles are explored. In particular his back and forth with patients Carolyn and Jonathan (real-life couple Amber Tamblyn and David Cross). It’s very much a two-way street of unhappiness that needs to be explored.
There are also some great (and often sad) interactions with Beth’s mother Georgia (Jeannie Berlin) that I wished were explored a little bit more instead of just implying certain issues of Georgia.
Relationships are tricky because the level of trust goes more past the fidelity of two. There has to be a trust in each other to tell the truth for a variety of reasons. And yes, if that isn’t addressed right away, feelings can be hurt. And who knows, maybe this film and review will help me share my own passions!
Christian Ramos is a classic film fan, having had the dream to host Turner Classic Movies for years now. He also has a large amount of Oscar trivia in his head, remembers dressing as Groucho Marx one Halloween, and cherishes the moment Julianne Moore liked his tweet.
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